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Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Breastfeeding Woes
Breastfeeding can be hard. Period. I knew going into it that it was going to be tough. I read everything on the internet I could get my hands on to get a good understanding of it. I went into it with no expectations, we would give it a fair shake and if it worked awesome, but if not I wasn't going to be all "I'm a terrible mom!"
I'll start with how frustrated I felt before the baby was even born by so many of the nurses, doctors, consultants, etc. that would ask if I planned to breastfeed or bottle feed. I'd answer with "we would like to breastfeed but we'll see how it goes." Babies are pretty unpredictable, I had no idea if he was going to take to the boob or not. I had no idea if my milk would come in or if it would be enough to feed him. I'm a pretty laid back person who tries to keep my expectations low in situations like this, it keeps my stress and anxiety down if it doesn't go exactly as planned. So anyway, when I would give them this answer they would go on this rant about how important breast milk can be to babies development and all these things I already knew about it. They made me feel like an idiot, like I couldn't possibly have had the intelligence level to have researched this and understood it already.
Fast forward to the night he was born, obviously we want to try to get him breastfeeding right away. I had a C-section, I had been in labor for 12 hours, I was pumped full of drugs. It is safe to say I was completely and utterly exhausted, but I was willing to try. The lactation consultant came in and tried to help us out and Ethan was not having it, he was not interested at all. We tried this way and that, with the nipple shield and without, he wasn't interested. I told the nurses thank you, we'll try again later. I didn't want to stress him out if he wasn't interested so I pumped and gave him that. I got the 3rd degree about how I shouldn't give him the bottle because that was easy for him and I should make him work at breastfeeding. Her exact works were "get him undressed, make him mad, get him awake." I'm sorry but this baby is not even a day old and you want me to purposely make him upset... No way. If he wants to chill and drink from the bottle, then that is what we are going to do.
I had to spend three days in the hospital with the nurses that kept pushing us to make him breastfeed, "it's so important to establish this early." Listen lady, we are going to do this at our own speed. We will practice and if he gets it then awesome, if not, I am not going to force him.
When we finally got home it was sooo much easier for me to relax when it was time to practice the boob. Don't get me wrong, it was still difficult as hell and got really frustrating at times. I knew he was hungry but he just did not want a boob. He'd latch for a minute or two and then throw his head back and freak out. After a couple minutes of this I'd stop and give him a bottle of pumped breast milk. There were a few times that I had almost given up, it just seemed so stressful on the both of us, but I am so glad I didn't.
It took us a good three weeks to finally get the hang of it and establish a good latch and a comfortable position. I had a great milk supply and was able to pump extra to store for later. The problem was that I wasn't comfortable feeding in public. Little man was a super slow eater so breastfeeding him in public just wasn't an option for me. This lead to more bottles and me waiting until I got home to pump or breastfeed. My boobs took this as less demand for the juice and so my supply suffered.
After he was about a month old we started supplementing with Similac for supplementing. I didn't plan on breastfeeding forever since I had to return to work and I wanted to make sure we could get him adjusted to formula before then. He took to the formula just fine and was getting about a 50/50 split throughout the day. Again my supply suffered.
So I have been trying to be more attentive to pumping on a schedule and trying to breastfeed him whenever possibly instead of giving a bottle to get my supply back up. Later this week I'm going to try to make some lactation cookies and see if that helps, I'll let you know how it goes.
I will say that I am glad we chose to do it the way we did, while it was stressful at times when he wouldn't latch and I KNEW he was hungry, I didn't feel like I HAD to breastfeed him and I was failing by giving him a bottle. Now when he does latch and eat I love looking in his little eyes and feeling like I am letting him know that I am there for him. I have read about how some mom's just gush over how incredible they feel while breastfeeding, I didn't think I would feel like that. But when I look down at him I feel tremendous love for this little man and my heart just wants to explode from him. It was so worth it to try and try at our own pace.
I'll start with how frustrated I felt before the baby was even born by so many of the nurses, doctors, consultants, etc. that would ask if I planned to breastfeed or bottle feed. I'd answer with "we would like to breastfeed but we'll see how it goes." Babies are pretty unpredictable, I had no idea if he was going to take to the boob or not. I had no idea if my milk would come in or if it would be enough to feed him. I'm a pretty laid back person who tries to keep my expectations low in situations like this, it keeps my stress and anxiety down if it doesn't go exactly as planned. So anyway, when I would give them this answer they would go on this rant about how important breast milk can be to babies development and all these things I already knew about it. They made me feel like an idiot, like I couldn't possibly have had the intelligence level to have researched this and understood it already.
Fast forward to the night he was born, obviously we want to try to get him breastfeeding right away. I had a C-section, I had been in labor for 12 hours, I was pumped full of drugs. It is safe to say I was completely and utterly exhausted, but I was willing to try. The lactation consultant came in and tried to help us out and Ethan was not having it, he was not interested at all. We tried this way and that, with the nipple shield and without, he wasn't interested. I told the nurses thank you, we'll try again later. I didn't want to stress him out if he wasn't interested so I pumped and gave him that. I got the 3rd degree about how I shouldn't give him the bottle because that was easy for him and I should make him work at breastfeeding. Her exact works were "get him undressed, make him mad, get him awake." I'm sorry but this baby is not even a day old and you want me to purposely make him upset... No way. If he wants to chill and drink from the bottle, then that is what we are going to do.
I had to spend three days in the hospital with the nurses that kept pushing us to make him breastfeed, "it's so important to establish this early." Listen lady, we are going to do this at our own speed. We will practice and if he gets it then awesome, if not, I am not going to force him.
When we finally got home it was sooo much easier for me to relax when it was time to practice the boob. Don't get me wrong, it was still difficult as hell and got really frustrating at times. I knew he was hungry but he just did not want a boob. He'd latch for a minute or two and then throw his head back and freak out. After a couple minutes of this I'd stop and give him a bottle of pumped breast milk. There were a few times that I had almost given up, it just seemed so stressful on the both of us, but I am so glad I didn't.
It took us a good three weeks to finally get the hang of it and establish a good latch and a comfortable position. I had a great milk supply and was able to pump extra to store for later. The problem was that I wasn't comfortable feeding in public. Little man was a super slow eater so breastfeeding him in public just wasn't an option for me. This lead to more bottles and me waiting until I got home to pump or breastfeed. My boobs took this as less demand for the juice and so my supply suffered.
After he was about a month old we started supplementing with Similac for supplementing. I didn't plan on breastfeeding forever since I had to return to work and I wanted to make sure we could get him adjusted to formula before then. He took to the formula just fine and was getting about a 50/50 split throughout the day. Again my supply suffered.
So I have been trying to be more attentive to pumping on a schedule and trying to breastfeed him whenever possibly instead of giving a bottle to get my supply back up. Later this week I'm going to try to make some lactation cookies and see if that helps, I'll let you know how it goes.
I will say that I am glad we chose to do it the way we did, while it was stressful at times when he wouldn't latch and I KNEW he was hungry, I didn't feel like I HAD to breastfeed him and I was failing by giving him a bottle. Now when he does latch and eat I love looking in his little eyes and feeling like I am letting him know that I am there for him. I have read about how some mom's just gush over how incredible they feel while breastfeeding, I didn't think I would feel like that. But when I look down at him I feel tremendous love for this little man and my heart just wants to explode from him. It was so worth it to try and try at our own pace.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
In case you need a smile today...
Friday, September 19, 2014
The Dreaded Return
A few things have came and went since we last spoke.
First, I got married. Yep, we took the plunge, I married my baby daddy on September 7, 2014. It was a freeking gorgeous day out and we had a great time. Now, I have a husband and a new last name, woah!
Second, I had to go back to work. After 12 weeks of maternity leave I had to finally leave my baby boy. I definitely did not want to go back to work or leave him but it wasn't something I was nervous about. I knew he would be fine and I knew I would be fine without him for 8 hours.
What I don't like about the whole thing is having to get out of bed, get two kids ready and myself, feed and potty the dogs, make lunch for work and somehow get out the door at a reasonable time. Stressful! But we're getting the hang out if and getting into a morning groove. My household chores have definitely started to take a back seat in the evening though. I get home and all I want to do is snuggle my little man, so I do.
After being able to stay home for 12 weeks I finally have the kick in the pants I need to get moving on my future goals. One is to start my family child care business. I've always wanted to be able to provide childcare in my home. I don't like the idea of day care centers because most of them feel like school to me; stuffy, over-structured, and strict. I love the idea of children feeling like they are in the comforts of their own home when they go to day care. Of course we are still going to learn new things and develop skills but I want the kids and families to feel relaxed when they come for child care. So I have my application packet for licensure, I just need to get CPR/First Aide certified and fill it out and mail it in to begin the process. The speed bump in the way is the CPR certification, it costs $110 and I have to wait until I get a few paychecks before I can sign up for it.
I also am working harder on developing my photography to the point where I feel comfortable actually selling it to people. I am super excited about it and have big plans for tying it into my childcare business!
I cannot wait to finally use the degree I paid way too much money to get and finally be my own boss.
In the meantime I get lots of snapchat photos of my little man throughout the day and a big grin when I come home to him at night.
He's getting so big, he's 2 1/2 months old and already wants to stand up! His little legs are so strong. He coo's and squeals and has big, toothless smiles that turn you to mush. He's already getting too big for his 0-3 month clothes, he's such a tall boy. Before I know it I'm going to be chasing him all over the house.
Finally, here's some adorbs for you...
First, I got married. Yep, we took the plunge, I married my baby daddy on September 7, 2014. It was a freeking gorgeous day out and we had a great time. Now, I have a husband and a new last name, woah!
Second, I had to go back to work. After 12 weeks of maternity leave I had to finally leave my baby boy. I definitely did not want to go back to work or leave him but it wasn't something I was nervous about. I knew he would be fine and I knew I would be fine without him for 8 hours.
What I don't like about the whole thing is having to get out of bed, get two kids ready and myself, feed and potty the dogs, make lunch for work and somehow get out the door at a reasonable time. Stressful! But we're getting the hang out if and getting into a morning groove. My household chores have definitely started to take a back seat in the evening though. I get home and all I want to do is snuggle my little man, so I do.
After being able to stay home for 12 weeks I finally have the kick in the pants I need to get moving on my future goals. One is to start my family child care business. I've always wanted to be able to provide childcare in my home. I don't like the idea of day care centers because most of them feel like school to me; stuffy, over-structured, and strict. I love the idea of children feeling like they are in the comforts of their own home when they go to day care. Of course we are still going to learn new things and develop skills but I want the kids and families to feel relaxed when they come for child care. So I have my application packet for licensure, I just need to get CPR/First Aide certified and fill it out and mail it in to begin the process. The speed bump in the way is the CPR certification, it costs $110 and I have to wait until I get a few paychecks before I can sign up for it.
I also am working harder on developing my photography to the point where I feel comfortable actually selling it to people. I am super excited about it and have big plans for tying it into my childcare business!
I cannot wait to finally use the degree I paid way too much money to get and finally be my own boss.
In the meantime I get lots of snapchat photos of my little man throughout the day and a big grin when I come home to him at night.
He's getting so big, he's 2 1/2 months old and already wants to stand up! His little legs are so strong. He coo's and squeals and has big, toothless smiles that turn you to mush. He's already getting too big for his 0-3 month clothes, he's such a tall boy. Before I know it I'm going to be chasing him all over the house.
Finally, here's some adorbs for you...
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
First Maternity Sesh
I had the privilege today to do my very first real, live, on purpose photo shoot! To make it even better it was with my best friend who also stood as Matron of Honor for me this weekend.
I feel confident with the photos I got but I know I have lots of room for improvement. I think it really helped me by starting out with my best friend, much less pressure! I definitely had a lot of fun.
I feel confident with the photos I got but I know I have lots of room for improvement. I think it really helped me by starting out with my best friend, much less pressure! I definitely had a lot of fun.
What a beautiful mama! I cannot wait to meet baby Beckett!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Dirty Baby Feet
Ethan and I took our first trip to the park yesterday. Mike's daughter was complaining of boredom and I knew she needed to have something fun done for her so she didn't feel neglected with the baby being around now.
Side note- she has been in North Carolina with her mother since after Ethan was born so she hasn't gotten much time with him.
Her jealousy has become more apparent each day since she's been back so I wanted to do something fun with her so she knew these fun things can still happen even with a new baby.
So I grabbed our favorite fleece quilt that a friend of mine made for him and off we went.
My cousin met us there with her three kids. Her Daughter is a little over a year older than Ethan. We sat with the babies an chatted while the older kids played.
I was able to get some fun pictures of her adorable daughter while Ethan snoozed.
One of my fears is having a shy child who is afraid of new places and situations. I just love exposing kids to new situations and helping them to push passed their fears in a healthy and safe way.
Do me a favor moms and dads, push your children beyond their comfort zones as often as you can! They will thank you for it when they grow up as strong and confident adults. Encourage them to stop and smell the flowers, then play in the dirt when they're done!
Side note- she has been in North Carolina with her mother since after Ethan was born so she hasn't gotten much time with him.
Her jealousy has become more apparent each day since she's been back so I wanted to do something fun with her so she knew these fun things can still happen even with a new baby.
So I grabbed our favorite fleece quilt that a friend of mine made for him and off we went.
My cousin met us there with her three kids. Her Daughter is a little over a year older than Ethan. We sat with the babies an chatted while the older kids played.
I was able to get some fun pictures of her adorable daughter while Ethan snoozed.
I had to work fast for this shot. I was still making camera adjustments when she did this, I was just barely able to get the camera up and focused to capture this adorable sniff.
This girl has got some BEAUTIFUL blue eyes! Isn't she a doll?
I love taking photos of kids while they're in their own element, doing their own thing. Plus, I'm rotten at staging photos.
While I was telling Mike about our park trip I had got to thinking about how much we have had Ethan outside since he's been born. Mike and I both spent so much of our childhood outdoors, we want to instill that same sense of adventure and passion for the outdoors in our kids. Mike's daughter didn't get a lot of exposure to that since he was deployed or working as the sole income for their family and going to college. It drives me nuts when we go to my parents house or anywhere with a lot of open land to explore and she just stands there.
I couldn't help but think about the people whose babies are kept in virtual bubbles; babies who don't touch grass until they're two (okay so maybe that's a little exaggerated.) I got Ethan right out and put his little feet right in the grass and let him touch it. I'll be damned if this kid ever gets stuffed inside a bubble, no way man. I was dying to put him in the pool this summer just to get him exposed to it early on but I know his skin was still way too sensitive for the chemicals.
I try to take Ethan everywhere and get him exposed to lots of things while I can before I have to go back to work. We take him on bumpy walks on trails, we took him to the state fair last week (which he hated, he was so fussy all day), I take him to see my mom at work (she works in a Legion, the guys there can get super loud and he handles it so well. Everyone is always impressed), when I take him to Wal-mart I leave the cover off his car-seat and everything!One of my fears is having a shy child who is afraid of new places and situations. I just love exposing kids to new situations and helping them to push passed their fears in a healthy and safe way.
Do me a favor moms and dads, push your children beyond their comfort zones as often as you can! They will thank you for it when they grow up as strong and confident adults. Encourage them to stop and smell the flowers, then play in the dirt when they're done!
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Mommy's day off
So as most of you might remember, Mike and I are getting married soon, like 13 days soon. Yay! So yesterday my girlfriends took me out for my bachelorette party at the wineries on Seneca lake. I did this running on four hours of low-quality sleep, we all had a rough night with a very cranky baby.We bumped around in my friends RV to 4 different wineries, though technically one of the wineries has three separate wineries within it.
It was my first time away from baby boy. I'm telling you guys it was really hard leaving Ethan that morning, I had to try so so hard to not cry. He was in great hands though with my mom, she was really excited to soend the day with him.
I had a great time hanging out with the girls for the day, had some great wine, made fun of other bridal parties that were there (ladies, when you go out, make sure to not be woo girls. What's a woo girl you ask? Go watch the movie What's Your Number, the scene in the bar when the girls are taking shots... WOOOOOOO! ugh cringe.) My first day away went pretty good but I was so excited to get my hands back on my baby that night.
We were snuggling later that night and I asked him if he a good time at grandma's that day and he flashed me the cutest smile, melt.
Last night we all went to bed nice and early and little man slept so good, I woke up today feeling better than I have in a long while!
Tomorrow we are going to make the drive out to the NY State Fair! I am super excited, I love the fair. Mike's daughter is coming back from her summer in North Carolina tomorrow too, I'm not sure I'm ready for that new schedule to begin. Just thinking about two kids now, and school, and babysitters and work... I'm already stressed out.
But before I get myself all worked up about that I'm just going to send myself to bed. We've got a long day of fair fun tomorrow and it's going to be a hot one.
Good night all!
It was my first time away from baby boy. I'm telling you guys it was really hard leaving Ethan that morning, I had to try so so hard to not cry. He was in great hands though with my mom, she was really excited to soend the day with him.
I had a great time hanging out with the girls for the day, had some great wine, made fun of other bridal parties that were there (ladies, when you go out, make sure to not be woo girls. What's a woo girl you ask? Go watch the movie What's Your Number, the scene in the bar when the girls are taking shots... WOOOOOOO! ugh cringe.) My first day away went pretty good but I was so excited to get my hands back on my baby that night.
We were snuggling later that night and I asked him if he a good time at grandma's that day and he flashed me the cutest smile, melt.
Last night we all went to bed nice and early and little man slept so good, I woke up today feeling better than I have in a long while!
Tomorrow we are going to make the drive out to the NY State Fair! I am super excited, I love the fair. Mike's daughter is coming back from her summer in North Carolina tomorrow too, I'm not sure I'm ready for that new schedule to begin. Just thinking about two kids now, and school, and babysitters and work... I'm already stressed out.
But before I get myself all worked up about that I'm just going to send myself to bed. We've got a long day of fair fun tomorrow and it's going to be a hot one.
Good night all!
Friday, August 22, 2014
Baby's first photos
I am so excited Ethan is finally here so I can not only be his mommy and love him and smoosh his cheeks, but also so I can have a live in test subject for my photography journey! I loved being able to take his newborn photos myself and save tons of money. Someday I'll be able to tell him that mommy took those photos and hopefully he will see how special that is just like I do.
I shot these with my Sony Alpha 390 and a plain old 18-55mm lens. Someday soon when I'm ready to make an actual business out of my photography and I feel my product is something I feel confident selling I will be investing in a great Camera. Currently, I've got my eye on the Canon 6D. Hopes and dreams people.
Saturday, August 16, 2014
I had a baby!
I swear I didn't fall off the face of the planet, or get abducted by aliens. I am here, we are well, and I am learning a ton! Having a newborn is tough work.
I didn't forget about my blog, I just had a million other things I needed to tend to before I could even think about setting down to write. When I finally could sit down to write, I fell asleep. On the couch, in my stay puff chair, the wrong way in bed. Wow it's a seriously long day with a baby!
Ethan Michael was born on July 6th at 10:42 pm via c-section. He weighed in at 8lbs 14 oz and almost maxed out the measuring tape at 23 inches!
One of these days I'll give you my whole birth story but right now I'll just let you know I was at 40 weeks and 6 days. I was scheduled for induction on July 7th and my water broke the morning of July 6th around 8am. This baby has been stubborn from the beginning and he waiting until the last possible day to come on his own. I had a 12 hour labor that ended with a c-section that I was really hoping not to have. BUT he came out perfect and healthy and oh so adorable!
Did I mention this kid came out with a FULL head of hair. You guys, I am not kidding. HAIR. I don't remember much of the surgery but I do remember all of the nurses literally exclaiming "look at the hair!!".
I didn't forget about my blog, I just had a million other things I needed to tend to before I could even think about setting down to write. When I finally could sit down to write, I fell asleep. On the couch, in my stay puff chair, the wrong way in bed. Wow it's a seriously long day with a baby!
Ethan Michael was born on July 6th at 10:42 pm via c-section. He weighed in at 8lbs 14 oz and almost maxed out the measuring tape at 23 inches!
One of these days I'll give you my whole birth story but right now I'll just let you know I was at 40 weeks and 6 days. I was scheduled for induction on July 7th and my water broke the morning of July 6th around 8am. This baby has been stubborn from the beginning and he waiting until the last possible day to come on his own. I had a 12 hour labor that ended with a c-section that I was really hoping not to have. BUT he came out perfect and healthy and oh so adorable!
Did I mention this kid came out with a FULL head of hair. You guys, I am not kidding. HAIR. I don't remember much of the surgery but I do remember all of the nurses literally exclaiming "look at the hair!!".
My little dude, one day new. I can't even. I love this little man so so much.
I cannot wait to see what he as in store for daddy and me. We are finally getting into a little bit of a groove. I'm understanding what his wants and needs are a little more everyday; when he's hungry, needs a diaper change, or when he's tired.
I'm terrified to go back to work. I work at 9am, how in the world am I going to get myself and this baby up and ready to go and get to work on time everyday without waking up at 3am to start? Not to mention I have to be away from him... forget it.
Alright folks, crying baby. I promise I'll get back into the swing of this and add more photos when I get three seconds!
Saturday, June 7, 2014
The little things that drive me nuts but I love them
So I'm sitting in my stay puff chair feeling this little baby lift weights in my belly and as uncomfortable as it is, I want to make sure I remember it, so I'm writing it down.
Little man,
When you were in my belly, not only did you get the hiccups CONSTANTLY, like more that two times a day, but your favorite activity was putting your little feet on my left hip bone and pushing your butt back as far as you could into the right side of my ribs. You do this all. the. time. I like to think you're trying to build your strength in them so you can just push yourself out when the time comes. Like when a person is in the pool and they want to swim forward really fast they push their feet off the wall.. I could see you pushing off my rib cage and just shooting out!
That part that drove me craziest during pregnancy with you was the hiccups and the eye twitch. For some reason I was graced with probably the most annoying symptom my body could possibly have manifested; an eye twitch. So while you were in my belly hiccuping for an hour, my eye lid was also spasming. That is definitely one way to drive your mother insane, like literally. I'm pretty sure I'm well on my way to the looney bin if this keeps up.
But, these are the little things that are going to make you memorable and I want to make sure I can keep them in my memory to tell you when you get older. Hopefully you will appreciate them and have a good laugh at what a goof ball you were in the womb.
By the way, we're coming up on 37 weeks now so feel free to start your grand entrance any time now! I cannot wait to meet you.
Love, Mommy
Little man,
When you were in my belly, not only did you get the hiccups CONSTANTLY, like more that two times a day, but your favorite activity was putting your little feet on my left hip bone and pushing your butt back as far as you could into the right side of my ribs. You do this all. the. time. I like to think you're trying to build your strength in them so you can just push yourself out when the time comes. Like when a person is in the pool and they want to swim forward really fast they push their feet off the wall.. I could see you pushing off my rib cage and just shooting out!
That part that drove me craziest during pregnancy with you was the hiccups and the eye twitch. For some reason I was graced with probably the most annoying symptom my body could possibly have manifested; an eye twitch. So while you were in my belly hiccuping for an hour, my eye lid was also spasming. That is definitely one way to drive your mother insane, like literally. I'm pretty sure I'm well on my way to the looney bin if this keeps up.
But, these are the little things that are going to make you memorable and I want to make sure I can keep them in my memory to tell you when you get older. Hopefully you will appreciate them and have a good laugh at what a goof ball you were in the womb.
By the way, we're coming up on 37 weeks now so feel free to start your grand entrance any time now! I cannot wait to meet you.
Love, Mommy
I know, I have been super slacker lady with uploading these chalkboard photos. I suck, feel free to tell me so! But anywho here's where we are currently. Weekly doctors visits are just great.. not. Seems like I could call them and say "yeah, he's moving around like crazy, pretty sure he's erected a circus tent in my uterus, nothing has changed, no blood, no pain, no pressure, k bye!"
Other than that it's just been a waiting game. I've been working a little on my photo taking skills for when Ethan gets here and even got Mike to brush up on his for some maternity pictures. With a wedding coming I was not about to pay for maternity pictures. So we headed out to some land my friend owns and took some pictures ourselves. Mike is by no means a photographer but he got some great shots I was able to work with and edit to keep for memories.
I should note I, by no means, call myself a photographer either, but I enjoy taking photos and editing them. I'm pretty proud of how these turned out!
Hopefully by the next time I get around to writing I'll have a birth story for you to read!
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
Excuse me while I.... *snore*
34 weeks today. I have been feeling pretty okay with this pregnancy until about two weeks ago. Wow did it hit me like a ton of sleep inducing bricks.
I don't know what some of you ladies are talking about when you say you have a hard time sleeping. I am a sleeping machine! I sleep like the dead at night after I stuff my six pillows around me I the proper spots to support my hips, back, and beach ball belly. During the day I'll been fine, fine, fine then WHAM! I'm passing out at my desk at work. Nothing helps, not food, not sugary drinks or candy, not walking around, nothing. I just wait it out and hope I don't fall alseep and get fired.
It's probably due to the fact that the weather is warming up, and this just must be my body's way of celebrating that. My baby shower was about two weeks ago and boy was it hot out! I had a great time even though I was sweating my ass off. I had my cousin on swamp ass checking duty. No one wants to see that. We got tons of great stuff and I loved seeing everyone! The blindfolded diaper changing went off great, it was hilarious let me tell you.
Baby Ethan's room looks great, even though it doesn't have its glider yet, or a dresser. I just can't bring myself to spend $200 on a baby dresser. So I'm still researching. We are as ready as I think we're ever going to be to bring him home.
Well, kinda. I've been slacking on packing our hospital bags. Who knew that would be so stress inducing and difficult. Every article I ready about what to pack for mom makes it's sound like I'm going to explode body fluids all over everything. "Don't bring anything that you don't want to see get ruined..." Dude, what the hell is going to happen in there that everything is going to get that disgusting? So I bought comfy, ugly Hanes underwear, black cotton pants, and a black, ugly, comfy maternity bra with no underwire to apparently sacrifice to the cause.
Packing the baby's bag was even worse, holy crap. There's nothing like packing baby's hospital bag to make you feel like you have no idea what you are doing and that you probably are not going to be allowed to bring your baby home. I'm convinced they're going to take one look at me after delivery and say "nope, no way are you going home with this baby, you're completely incompetent." Other moms assure me I'll be just fine and that they will, indeed, let me keep my baby.
So right now the bags are upstairs, half packed, mostly because when I do remember that I need to finish packing them I am sitting downstairs and I'm too lazy to climb all the way up the stairs from hell to do it.
Tonight, tonight I'll finish them. Maybe.
I don't know what some of you ladies are talking about when you say you have a hard time sleeping. I am a sleeping machine! I sleep like the dead at night after I stuff my six pillows around me I the proper spots to support my hips, back, and beach ball belly. During the day I'll been fine, fine, fine then WHAM! I'm passing out at my desk at work. Nothing helps, not food, not sugary drinks or candy, not walking around, nothing. I just wait it out and hope I don't fall alseep and get fired.
It's probably due to the fact that the weather is warming up, and this just must be my body's way of celebrating that. My baby shower was about two weeks ago and boy was it hot out! I had a great time even though I was sweating my ass off. I had my cousin on swamp ass checking duty. No one wants to see that. We got tons of great stuff and I loved seeing everyone! The blindfolded diaper changing went off great, it was hilarious let me tell you.
Baby Ethan's room looks great, even though it doesn't have its glider yet, or a dresser. I just can't bring myself to spend $200 on a baby dresser. So I'm still researching. We are as ready as I think we're ever going to be to bring him home.
Well, kinda. I've been slacking on packing our hospital bags. Who knew that would be so stress inducing and difficult. Every article I ready about what to pack for mom makes it's sound like I'm going to explode body fluids all over everything. "Don't bring anything that you don't want to see get ruined..." Dude, what the hell is going to happen in there that everything is going to get that disgusting? So I bought comfy, ugly Hanes underwear, black cotton pants, and a black, ugly, comfy maternity bra with no underwire to apparently sacrifice to the cause.
Packing the baby's bag was even worse, holy crap. There's nothing like packing baby's hospital bag to make you feel like you have no idea what you are doing and that you probably are not going to be allowed to bring your baby home. I'm convinced they're going to take one look at me after delivery and say "nope, no way are you going home with this baby, you're completely incompetent." Other moms assure me I'll be just fine and that they will, indeed, let me keep my baby.
So right now the bags are upstairs, half packed, mostly because when I do remember that I need to finish packing them I am sitting downstairs and I'm too lazy to climb all the way up the stairs from hell to do it.
Tonight, tonight I'll finish them. Maybe.
Saturday, April 26, 2014
What's with my feet?
Good evening, I'm reporting live from my chair and a half in the living rooms since I can no longer sit comfortably on the couch. I can take one mean nap on her though.
So my latest development with my feet is cramping. You know when you curl your toes and they cramp up so hard you think your foot's going to be stuck like that forever while you writhe in pain. Nasty sons a bitches those cramps are. Well no we're to the point where I don't even have to curl my toes up to get them any more! Earlier to day I pushed my toes into my fantastic chair, mike calls it Stay Puff because it's so big and he hates moving it, and I got a god awful cramp.
The worst part about them is they are kind of like hitting your funny bone, it hurts but it also makes you laugh. Mike almost doesn't take me seriously when I get them because I'm giggling like a crazed maniac when I get them.
In other news, Ethan has found my ribs. People had be dreading this day and yes it is as uncomfortable as people describe it to be.
Holy crap! I probably should mention that Easter was amazing, Mike and I got engaged!! Yep he popped the question on Easter with a plastic egg. The story that goes along with it is hilarious (or so I think.)
We both have know practically since day one that we were going to be together forever. Our hearts just knew I guess. So there was no doubt in my mind that a proposal was due some time soon, I mean I'm carrying the man's child and lets face it why wouldn't he want to marry me? heh heh.. kidding.. sorta..
So Easter morning we're up, getting ready, and I'm complaining about how much I don't want to go to work on Easter... it was friggin B-E-A-UTIFUL outside and I was so mad I was going to be stuck in a crappy office doing nothing.
So I say to him... "you know what would be SUCH a cute proposal idea?".... ..... ... Nothing, no response, he just kept rinsing dishes in the sink.
The man's been blown up a few times while he was in the marine corps so I figured he just didn't hear me. So I said "did you hear me? or are you just choosing to ignore that statement" And he says "I heard you and I'm choosing to ignore" muahhaha
So I think nothing of it, I go to work and complain all day, and I leave early to go home. Wouldn't you know it, he had a little Easter egg hunt planned and the last egg had a beautiful ring in it. Ahh it was adorable and perfect and I loved it. Any way
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Sleeping feet
Welp, here she is, the third trimester. Ahhhh finally. For me, my body apparently got pregnancy all wrong. First trimester was a breeze; no morning sickness at all. I know, you hate me. I was tired but I could function for the most part through each day. The second trimester was nothing like people told me, I was more tired then than in the first. The energy and second wind never came, there was zerodrive to do anything.
The third trimester so far is bringing a lovely mixture of symptoms and feelings.
It started with the pelvic and hip pain. This is something I wish people would have mentioned to me. They all say that pregnancy can be "uncomfortable"... Uhh yeah... That's not what I'm feeling. I'm talking straight up, I can't get off the floor, PAIN. I was getting made fun of at work for me new found waddle, little did they know I was limping. Every step I took was agony in my hips. This was all due to stupid ligaments and the pelvis separating to get ready to shove a baby through. I sat on the floor one night to do my chalkboard and I Could. Not. Get. Up. I was stuck. Mike had to pull me up. Sitting up in bed was a nightmare, climbing out of bed was worse. I sleep with four pillows stuffed under various locations of my body now to help with the pain. Thankfully it has helped some but I still "waddle" a bit. Told the nurse about this at my 28 week checkup yesterday and all she had for me was "you're right on schedule then." Ugh.
Next, the heartburn. This I was well prepared for and educated on. "Heartburn during pregnancy means lots of hair on baby." I knew what I was in for, I've had heartburn before, nothing some Tums couldn't help with. WRONG! Even my trusty Tums have been ineffective against this heartburn. Bending over to pick something up off the floor has turned into a tricky little game in my body now, is the acid in my stomach going to fly up to my throat or stay put? So far off my diet list because of heartburn are hash browns, orange soda, tilapia, and possibly bacon. Get ready ladies, if you think you know heartburn, guess again, pregnancy gives you a whole new kind of heartburn.
The upside is that baby Ethan is as active as ever. I'm convinced he's trying to escape early. This boy has some kicks on him, oh man. I could watch my belly wiggle, stretch and jump all day long, I'm surprised he sleeps at all. He's had a couple kicks that have stopped me dead in my tracks so far.
Oh! And I finally experienced him pressing on the artery in my back and dropping my blood pressure on me. I was sitting at work minding my business when all of the sudden an intense "I'm about to faint" feeling washed over me. I immediately put myself on the floor with the pillow I use for lumbar support just in case. Moving around seems to help get the blood moving again and made the faint feeling pass. It was definitely scary, but apparently quite normal. I now know why they tell you not to stay on you're back for long periods of time.
The third trimester so far is bringing a lovely mixture of symptoms and feelings.
It started with the pelvic and hip pain. This is something I wish people would have mentioned to me. They all say that pregnancy can be "uncomfortable"... Uhh yeah... That's not what I'm feeling. I'm talking straight up, I can't get off the floor, PAIN. I was getting made fun of at work for me new found waddle, little did they know I was limping. Every step I took was agony in my hips. This was all due to stupid ligaments and the pelvis separating to get ready to shove a baby through. I sat on the floor one night to do my chalkboard and I Could. Not. Get. Up. I was stuck. Mike had to pull me up. Sitting up in bed was a nightmare, climbing out of bed was worse. I sleep with four pillows stuffed under various locations of my body now to help with the pain. Thankfully it has helped some but I still "waddle" a bit. Told the nurse about this at my 28 week checkup yesterday and all she had for me was "you're right on schedule then." Ugh.
Next, the heartburn. This I was well prepared for and educated on. "Heartburn during pregnancy means lots of hair on baby." I knew what I was in for, I've had heartburn before, nothing some Tums couldn't help with. WRONG! Even my trusty Tums have been ineffective against this heartburn. Bending over to pick something up off the floor has turned into a tricky little game in my body now, is the acid in my stomach going to fly up to my throat or stay put? So far off my diet list because of heartburn are hash browns, orange soda, tilapia, and possibly bacon. Get ready ladies, if you think you know heartburn, guess again, pregnancy gives you a whole new kind of heartburn.
The upside is that baby Ethan is as active as ever. I'm convinced he's trying to escape early. This boy has some kicks on him, oh man. I could watch my belly wiggle, stretch and jump all day long, I'm surprised he sleeps at all. He's had a couple kicks that have stopped me dead in my tracks so far.
Oh! And I finally experienced him pressing on the artery in my back and dropping my blood pressure on me. I was sitting at work minding my business when all of the sudden an intense "I'm about to faint" feeling washed over me. I immediately put myself on the floor with the pillow I use for lumbar support just in case. Moving around seems to help get the blood moving again and made the faint feeling pass. It was definitely scary, but apparently quite normal. I now know why they tell you not to stay on you're back for long periods of time.
Don't get me wrong, I definitely know that I have it a lot easier than many women out there who are pregnant. And I am so so so grateful to be even able to experience these changes. I think the third trimester has some nasties in store for me though.
I swear, if I could figure out how to get these pictures to line up nicely, it'd be a miracle. You get the point.
Friday, March 14, 2014
Worse than the man cold...
The pregnancy cold. What. A. Bitch.
So to recap, I have been working my ass off at work for the past ohhhhhh three months because my partner in crime full time day shift person quit on me. She left me to die here. So I've been here doing the work of three people because my part timer needs so much babysitting it's like not having any help at all. We finally hired a new full time person last week and lucky for me he doesn't start for another week and a half. Basically, this cold was bound to happen just based on all the crap I've been putting up with. So here I am.
Sunday night I get home from work after another longggg event at work, I plop my ass on the couch and I fall asleep. I wake up around ten at night with my throat literally on fire and full of razor blades... Ok maybe not literally but damnit it sure felt real.
"I think I'm getting sick" I tell Mike. Sure as shit, I wake up the next day a complete clogged, stuffy, runny, gross, sick mess. My throat hurts, I'm sneezing every ten minutes, and walking around with my box of tissues. Plus! I had to get a flu shot that day, YES! The guy giving me my shot lies and says I shouldn't feel any pain, and it shouldn't get red or puffy. Jerk. It did all of those things.
I walked into my appointment with my OB later that day and informed the nurse I got my stupid flu shot and I have a cold. She asked me not to share my cold and proceeded to do my vitals. What the frig man, can't a fat chick get a little sympathy?
The baby is doing fine through my cold though, but I think my coughing is really pissing him off, he kicks me way harder now. Poor guy.
So today is day five of the cold from hell, it started on my "weekend" for work, I called in for two days, and went back to work today feeling just the slightest bit better. I should have called in.. Ugh. I don't get paid enough.
The best part about a pregnancy cold, you can't really take any medicine to help alleviate some symptoms. Sure they say sudafed or tussen is safe enough but not me, no meds here. I'll just sit here and burn through gallons of water and OJ.
Also, when your sinuses are all jacked up you know what happens? You sneeze a lot. Like multiple times in a row. And what is one of a pregnant woman's biggest fears? Sneezing. Why? Because we have less control over our bladder and all its muscles. Yeah, awesome times. I've taken to crossing my legs and squeezing as hard as I can when I feel a sneeze coming on. I'm telling you, there is nothing funny about that forth sneeze. NOTHING!
Oh and! Did you know that if your sinuses get packed up enough it can make your teeth hurt? Yep, thanks a lot body, that's just what I needed. Apparently your sinuses run so close to the nerves of your molars that a nasty cold or sinus infection can actually make you feel like all of your teeth are about to fall out of your head at any moment. Enjoy.
I am so looking forward to kicking this cold soon so I can get back to just feeling like pregnancy shit, not pregnancy cold shit.
So to recap, I have been working my ass off at work for the past ohhhhhh three months because my partner in crime full time day shift person quit on me. She left me to die here. So I've been here doing the work of three people because my part timer needs so much babysitting it's like not having any help at all. We finally hired a new full time person last week and lucky for me he doesn't start for another week and a half. Basically, this cold was bound to happen just based on all the crap I've been putting up with. So here I am.
Sunday night I get home from work after another longggg event at work, I plop my ass on the couch and I fall asleep. I wake up around ten at night with my throat literally on fire and full of razor blades... Ok maybe not literally but damnit it sure felt real.
"I think I'm getting sick" I tell Mike. Sure as shit, I wake up the next day a complete clogged, stuffy, runny, gross, sick mess. My throat hurts, I'm sneezing every ten minutes, and walking around with my box of tissues. Plus! I had to get a flu shot that day, YES! The guy giving me my shot lies and says I shouldn't feel any pain, and it shouldn't get red or puffy. Jerk. It did all of those things.
I walked into my appointment with my OB later that day and informed the nurse I got my stupid flu shot and I have a cold. She asked me not to share my cold and proceeded to do my vitals. What the frig man, can't a fat chick get a little sympathy?
The baby is doing fine through my cold though, but I think my coughing is really pissing him off, he kicks me way harder now. Poor guy.
So today is day five of the cold from hell, it started on my "weekend" for work, I called in for two days, and went back to work today feeling just the slightest bit better. I should have called in.. Ugh. I don't get paid enough.
The best part about a pregnancy cold, you can't really take any medicine to help alleviate some symptoms. Sure they say sudafed or tussen is safe enough but not me, no meds here. I'll just sit here and burn through gallons of water and OJ.
Also, when your sinuses are all jacked up you know what happens? You sneeze a lot. Like multiple times in a row. And what is one of a pregnant woman's biggest fears? Sneezing. Why? Because we have less control over our bladder and all its muscles. Yeah, awesome times. I've taken to crossing my legs and squeezing as hard as I can when I feel a sneeze coming on. I'm telling you, there is nothing funny about that forth sneeze. NOTHING!
Oh and! Did you know that if your sinuses get packed up enough it can make your teeth hurt? Yep, thanks a lot body, that's just what I needed. Apparently your sinuses run so close to the nerves of your molars that a nasty cold or sinus infection can actually make you feel like all of your teeth are about to fall out of your head at any moment. Enjoy.
I am so looking forward to kicking this cold soon so I can get back to just feeling like pregnancy shit, not pregnancy cold shit.
Wednesday, February 19, 2014
Fast times, big things!
So to recap.
Baby is heallllllthyyyy! Oh and it's A BOY!
I'm still just a little shocked about this. The whole pregnancy so far when people would ask what I thought I was having I would say I had no idea. When we went in and I'm laying there with the shittiest view of the ultrasound in the room I was thinking the whole time that the tech was going to say girl. Then she nonchalantly raddles off "Boy. Penis, scrotum" just like that and points to the screen where I see nothing at all because I'm seeing it upside down practically. Ugh. Then he proceeded to sit on his feet the rest of the time. Brat.
I couldn't believe she said boy.
So we went out and bought some black balloons and blue and green tissue paper and hole punched the bajezzzus out of it to make confetti and filled the balloon. Originally I was going to take a cool series of photos of the balloon popping over my head but I was worried we'd miss it or it would look like crap and I'd have to fill the balloon all over again. No thank you. So we took a video instead for everyone to watch. And even though I knew the balloon pop was coming, I still screamed.
What a wuss. Click for Baby gender reveal video
But it was fun, we made a confetti mess every where and even got some all over my poor little shi tzu. And everyone seemed to love the idea.
Next it was baby name time. I had girl names out the wazoo, girl names are easy. Boy names, not so much.
So we made little poll out of the chalkboard that week after we came up with four names. Only two of which we actually agreed on. We wanted to see what everyone else liked but we weren't actually taking their opinions into consideration, sorry guys! It made it really fun though! The four names were Emmett, Ethan, Logan, and Hunter. The funny part is the first three names were ones we had talked about. Hunter I just threw on their last second when I was writing the board. Wouldn't you know it, most of the votes went to Hunter! I was shocked again! I just threw it on their because it's a masculine name and I thought people would think Mike suggested it. Very few people chose our name but we did have a couple that guessed it dead on with a middle name, so that was pretty cool!
So what is baby's name?
We have on our hands a little Ethan Michael. :-) My mother is so proud of herself for suggesting the middle name.
The best part is now I can look back after he's born and see who liked the wrong names and shun them! "No you can't hold him, you hate his name!"haha juuuuust kidding... Kinda.
Since then little man has been a kicking machine, jabbing me in the stomach every chance he gets. It's really cool, and really distracting all at the same time. When he starts kicking while I'm at work I find myself pausing whatever I am doing to feel the kicks.
Now that we know he is a he, we were able to get a crib, stroller, swing, and pack and play. So all our big items are DONEZO! We finally have an apartment with three bedrooms so I finally have a nursery that I can "nest" in. Yay!
Now that life is settling down just a little I feel like I can relax and enjoy this even more.
Sunday, January 26, 2014
Maybe I'm crazy
So this week I am 17 weeks along, I'll be 18 Tuesday, and I got to feel the baby move FOR CERTAIN this time! It was super exciting and well needed at the time. I was sitting at my desk at work writing an email to my boss about how irritated I was with a particular work issue that has not been resolved after well over a month. I felt two little pokes deep down in my belly and I just knew it was the baby telling me to calm the eff down!
Since then baby Eggbert has been very wiggly and active.
(Mike and I were going through baby name lists online last week and I kept saying all the goofy ones out loud. When I said Eggbert I got a quick pain in my side and took that as the baby reacting to the name. It will forever be the babies nickname whether he/she likes it or not.)
Call me crazy. but as I was laying on the couch tonight with my hand over my belly I was certain that I could feel the baby kicking my hand. Maybe it's wishful thinking but I swear I felt it on my hand.
Since then baby Eggbert has been very wiggly and active.
(Mike and I were going through baby name lists online last week and I kept saying all the goofy ones out loud. When I said Eggbert I got a quick pain in my side and took that as the baby reacting to the name. It will forever be the babies nickname whether he/she likes it or not.)
Call me crazy. but as I was laying on the couch tonight with my hand over my belly I was certain that I could feel the baby kicking my hand. Maybe it's wishful thinking but I swear I felt it on my hand.
Here's this weeks bump photo. I swear I look smaller than the past weeks.
I had gained a bunch of weight right off the bat in the first 8 weeks. Since then I actually lost a pound. The theory is that I'm losing all my excess bloat while the baby is bulking up. I'm totally cool with that. I was certain I was going to just keep growing as the same pace for 9 months and be the size of a house. I'm completely fine with this little exchange we have going on.
Apparently now I'm supposed to start growing more though. Baby websites say I need to start spending more time sleeping on my side. I am a full out belly sleeper, I look like a skydiver when I sleep. Constant side sleeping is going to be a bitch, but apparently its something I'm supposed to do so I don't get lightheaded and faint or whatever nonsense they're making up just to make me miserable.
Good news though, only 7 more days to wait until we know if baby is a boy or girl. Positive thoughts that baby cooperates and lays spread eagle with arms above its head for the sonogram are welcome. That and hopes that I don't drink way too much water and pee my pants. Oh the horror.
Cross your fingers for us everyone! Till next time adios!
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
Hormones are fun....
Here's a list of things that are annoying me right now:
Slamming doors
Complete laziness
Squeaky chairs
Lack of appropriate food
Belly bands
Dry air
On the plus side while I was writing a pissy email to my boss today about a serious issue of incompetence I totally felt the baby wiggle around in my belly. Idk if it was because I was pissed off and smoke was coming out of my ears or if the baby was totally digging the Nelly tune that was on pandora at the moment. Either way, it was awesome.
Slamming doors
Complete laziness
Squeaky chairs
Lack of appropriate food
Belly bands
Dry air
On the plus side while I was writing a pissy email to my boss today about a serious issue of incompetence I totally felt the baby wiggle around in my belly. Idk if it was because I was pissed off and smoke was coming out of my ears or if the baby was totally digging the Nelly tune that was on pandora at the moment. Either way, it was awesome.
Thursday, January 16, 2014
Bumpity bump bump
Here is the documentation of my bump progression. I was certain people could tell at 10 weeks.
This is where I can see myself start to fall apart. "Hurry up and take the picture"
Week 15 I start to perk back up a little bit
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
What first
I really should have started this blog weeks and weeks ago. I kept thinking about it but I just could not bring myself to start just in case I had to stop again. Finally at 15 weeks I felt confident enough in my body and my baby to give it a go again.
Now that I'm 16 weeks along I have no idea what to write about first. So many things have happened. Do I talk about the doctors appointments, how excited I am to start shopping, boy or girl, people asking how fat I feel (yep, someone definitely asked me that), how hungry I am, maternity clothes? There's so many options!
So I'm going to try and touch on a few things I've experienced so far. Strap in ladies and gents.
I'll begin with the bump.
This time around I really wanted to wait until the 12 week appointment to begin spreading the news of our joy. We told a few close people before that but not many. I told my co-worker pretty early on because 1. I really trusted her and 2. I needed someone on the inside that could cover for me when I needed a break. She was awesome and so excited!
This got a little challenging around weeks 7 & 8. There was no denying I was getting bigger in the belly. I had gain 5 lbs right off the bat and it was obvious! Thankfully I work in my own office and no one really bothers me but I was super paranoid every time I had to leave my secure location. I tried hiding my obvious bumps with long scarves and big shirts and thankfully it worked and I was able to keep my secret.
OH! and I was going to do a fun reveal to my mother when I was ready to tell people but I hadn't planned what to do yet. So it's the day before my 6 week ultrasound. Given my previous miscarriage the doctor wanted to see me right away to see if things were going well. My mother sends me a message asking me why I had an appointment with radiology the next day. With my cancer history I can only imagine the tizzy she put herself in just thinking about this and why I didn't tell her about it. Turns out I had gone to this radiology/ultrasound department for some reason when I was a kid and they had my phone number from my parents house on file still! They left my appointment with my mother! So I had to tell her it wasn't a radiology appointment it was an ultrasound. This prompted her to ask why the heck I was having an ultrasound, which forced me to spill the beans early to her. It was so uneventful telling her over the internet instead of being able to see her face but oh well, it is what it is.
Today at work I passed by one of the ladies in another department and she gave me a big grin and asked how I was feeling. I said I was good and she proceeded with "feel fat yet?" Uhh... why yes I do, thanks for pointing it out.
Let me tell you they are not kidding about the second trimester hunger. I could eat a full meal every hour if I let myself. I was hungry during weeks 5-7, but that was NOTHING compared to how hungry I feel now. Holy moly.
Thankfully I have been able to eat just about everything. Mike did send me running out of the room one day when he opened a bag of beef jerky in front of me. He was SHOCKED to say the least, I love me some jerky! As soon as he opened the bag my hand flew over my nose and my eyes started watering, YUCK.
Morning sickness hasn't really been an issue (please forgive me to those of you having to deal with it!) I did have one morning where I RAN to the bathroom to vomit but it was a one time deal.
My suffering happens through daily gagging fits. My teeth are going to rot out of my head because I cannot get through a thorough brushing without gagging multiple times. It never fails after I put my mascara and eye liner on I gag for whatever reason that sets me off and my eyes get so waters that it all just runs. Beautiful.
Our anatomy ultrasound is FINALLY scheduled, just under three weeks from now. I am dying to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. People have been asking me what I think baby will be and until last week I really had not had any idea what I felt. I just wanted a healthy baby. Mike and I would joke "as long as it's not a velociraptor." Last week I decided that I thought baby was going to be a boy. I'm actually hoping for a girl, what woman doesn't want a little girl to dress up and teach girly things to? But I just felt like we're probably having a boy. I just hope that baby cooperates and gives us a good view of the goods on Feb. 3rd!
Now that we have heard the babies heartbeat multiple times and we are sure that there is actually a living baby in me we have been planning a lot more. I'm on the babies r us website every other day trying to find things I want to put on the registry. Let me just say that I do not know how people who wait to find out the gender until the baby is born do it. Finding gender neutral items that I can actually put on the registry is nearly impossible. The only way to organize things as gender neutral is in the newborn sections. How frustrating! Right now I've got some yellow onesies and socks on there and a few other things but big items like playards and strollers and car seats really don't come in neutral colors, what gives baby stuff makers?? I like to plan, I want all this stuff on my list and ready to go darn it. But, what's three more weeks right?
Speaking of that, I have a great idea for the gender reveal. I am so excited for it!
The only shopping I have really been able to do is maternity clothes shopping and I have determined two things. 1. Maternity shirts come two ways; solid colors or horizontal stripes, 2. Maternity pants have something against pockets. I have found one shirt that had something other than stripes or a solid color on it. It said "Remember to be awesome" Thanks but I don't need a reminder. And I love my pockets and I miss them. I have three pairs of maternity pants and none of them have pockets. I get funny looks at work because I keep pulling things out of my bra. Doesn't mater how discreet you are about it, people know when you're in your bra and when you're not. Get over it man, I don't have any pockets.
I'm going to tryyyyy to post my bump chalkboard photos if blogger cooperates with me. I might have to wait until I get home to manually upload them but lets have hope shall we?
Wish me luck!
Now that I'm 16 weeks along I have no idea what to write about first. So many things have happened. Do I talk about the doctors appointments, how excited I am to start shopping, boy or girl, people asking how fat I feel (yep, someone definitely asked me that), how hungry I am, maternity clothes? There's so many options!
So I'm going to try and touch on a few things I've experienced so far. Strap in ladies and gents.
I'll begin with the bump.
This time around I really wanted to wait until the 12 week appointment to begin spreading the news of our joy. We told a few close people before that but not many. I told my co-worker pretty early on because 1. I really trusted her and 2. I needed someone on the inside that could cover for me when I needed a break. She was awesome and so excited!
This got a little challenging around weeks 7 & 8. There was no denying I was getting bigger in the belly. I had gain 5 lbs right off the bat and it was obvious! Thankfully I work in my own office and no one really bothers me but I was super paranoid every time I had to leave my secure location. I tried hiding my obvious bumps with long scarves and big shirts and thankfully it worked and I was able to keep my secret.
OH! and I was going to do a fun reveal to my mother when I was ready to tell people but I hadn't planned what to do yet. So it's the day before my 6 week ultrasound. Given my previous miscarriage the doctor wanted to see me right away to see if things were going well. My mother sends me a message asking me why I had an appointment with radiology the next day. With my cancer history I can only imagine the tizzy she put herself in just thinking about this and why I didn't tell her about it. Turns out I had gone to this radiology/ultrasound department for some reason when I was a kid and they had my phone number from my parents house on file still! They left my appointment with my mother! So I had to tell her it wasn't a radiology appointment it was an ultrasound. This prompted her to ask why the heck I was having an ultrasound, which forced me to spill the beans early to her. It was so uneventful telling her over the internet instead of being able to see her face but oh well, it is what it is.
Today at work I passed by one of the ladies in another department and she gave me a big grin and asked how I was feeling. I said I was good and she proceeded with "feel fat yet?" Uhh... why yes I do, thanks for pointing it out.
Let me tell you they are not kidding about the second trimester hunger. I could eat a full meal every hour if I let myself. I was hungry during weeks 5-7, but that was NOTHING compared to how hungry I feel now. Holy moly.
Thankfully I have been able to eat just about everything. Mike did send me running out of the room one day when he opened a bag of beef jerky in front of me. He was SHOCKED to say the least, I love me some jerky! As soon as he opened the bag my hand flew over my nose and my eyes started watering, YUCK.
Morning sickness hasn't really been an issue (please forgive me to those of you having to deal with it!) I did have one morning where I RAN to the bathroom to vomit but it was a one time deal.
My suffering happens through daily gagging fits. My teeth are going to rot out of my head because I cannot get through a thorough brushing without gagging multiple times. It never fails after I put my mascara and eye liner on I gag for whatever reason that sets me off and my eyes get so waters that it all just runs. Beautiful.
Our anatomy ultrasound is FINALLY scheduled, just under three weeks from now. I am dying to find out if we're having a boy or a girl. People have been asking me what I think baby will be and until last week I really had not had any idea what I felt. I just wanted a healthy baby. Mike and I would joke "as long as it's not a velociraptor." Last week I decided that I thought baby was going to be a boy. I'm actually hoping for a girl, what woman doesn't want a little girl to dress up and teach girly things to? But I just felt like we're probably having a boy. I just hope that baby cooperates and gives us a good view of the goods on Feb. 3rd!
Now that we have heard the babies heartbeat multiple times and we are sure that there is actually a living baby in me we have been planning a lot more. I'm on the babies r us website every other day trying to find things I want to put on the registry. Let me just say that I do not know how people who wait to find out the gender until the baby is born do it. Finding gender neutral items that I can actually put on the registry is nearly impossible. The only way to organize things as gender neutral is in the newborn sections. How frustrating! Right now I've got some yellow onesies and socks on there and a few other things but big items like playards and strollers and car seats really don't come in neutral colors, what gives baby stuff makers?? I like to plan, I want all this stuff on my list and ready to go darn it. But, what's three more weeks right?
Speaking of that, I have a great idea for the gender reveal. I am so excited for it!
The only shopping I have really been able to do is maternity clothes shopping and I have determined two things. 1. Maternity shirts come two ways; solid colors or horizontal stripes, 2. Maternity pants have something against pockets. I have found one shirt that had something other than stripes or a solid color on it. It said "Remember to be awesome" Thanks but I don't need a reminder. And I love my pockets and I miss them. I have three pairs of maternity pants and none of them have pockets. I get funny looks at work because I keep pulling things out of my bra. Doesn't mater how discreet you are about it, people know when you're in your bra and when you're not. Get over it man, I don't have any pockets.
I'm going to tryyyyy to post my bump chalkboard photos if blogger cooperates with me. I might have to wait until I get home to manually upload them but lets have hope shall we?
Wish me luck!
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Better late than never... Right?
- What are little boys made of?
- What are little boys made of?
- Snips and snails
- And puppy-dogs' tails,
- That's what little boys are made of.
- What are little girls made of?
- What are little girls made of?
- Sugar and spice
- And everything nice,
- That's what little girls are made of.
- Or so I hear.
- So here's my back story, my name is Crystal. I grew up in a tiny town in the bipolar state of New York and lead a semi-normal life as far as I can tell.
- In 2008 I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma and underwent 7 months of chemotherapy. Yes, it sucked, yes, all my hair fell out, but I'm alive and well today and glad it's all over.
- Fast forward a bajillion years, and one near-miss wedding and life from hell later, I have found the life I have always wanted. I have a bachelors degree in psychology and health science and just recently was conferred for my masters degree in early child good education! Wahoo! Who wants to hire me....? Anyone? I now live with my incredible boyfriend, who tolerates my every neurotic moment and annoying quirk, and his 6 year old daughter.
- I first found out I was pregnant in April 2013. I was surprised, but super excited. I've always wanted kids and I was thrilled at the idea of having one with a man I loved so much. I had no idea what I was doing when I started looking for an Ob-gyn, I just picked one whose office was in my town. It was literally a five minute drive. At our first appointment I was super nervous, I knew I had to have the full exam and my doctor was a man. Prior to that all of my doctors had been women so this was weird for me. I didn't mind him, he didn't look like he smiled often, he seemed nice enough and I didn't feel any more violated from the exam than usual.
- Stupid pap smears. Seriously who signs up for that job, gross!
- Anyway, Mike hated our doctor from the get go but gave him a chance for me. We scheduled blood work and an 8 week ultrasound. Mike and I walked into our ultrasound giddy with anticipation of seeing the fruits of our labor heh heh. Our ultrasound tech was a miserable lady, maybe 40 years old. I hated her. I'd never done an ultrasound before I had no idea what I was looking at. She told us NOTHING. I got dressed and went to the waiting room for the doctor. We brushed off the mean ultrasound hag and resumed our giddy chatter. Dr. Stern-face came in and the first thing out of his mouth was "there's no way you are 8 weeks pregnant." I'm sorry what...? "Are you sure about your dates?" Uh yeah I'm sure I know when I was supposed to get my period and didn't. Have you ever had to scrub blood out of your clothes? It's not friggin fun, jerk. So instead of telling me my options of what could be he comes right out and says "I don't think this is a viable pregnancy". Mike was at my side in an instant. I was still trying to process what exactly Mr. Stern-face just told me. It was completely awful, he followed up with there being a small chance my days were off and asked me to get more blood work to see if my counts increased. In my head I already knew they wouldn't. In my head I had always known it was going to happen for some reason. I knew I must have done something wrong.
- So there we have it, I miscarried, counts came back as I predicted and doctor issued a d&c that day. What a miserable thing for a woman to go through after she just got such awful news not three days prior. But I'd been through cancer and chemo, I could handle it, at least that's what I told myself. Boy was I wrong. Even with numbing medication it hurt like hell and psychologically I've never been through anything worse.
- When they finished I curled up in a little ball on the table covered with flimsy paper. Mike finally was able to come in and was shocked to see what state I was in. My blood pressure was all over the place, I was hot, I was cold, I was sweating, I was vomiting. He flagged a nurse and she got me some meds for the pain and a wet rag. The doctor came back to check on me and I swear he laughed at how I was handling it. What a newb I was, apparently. After a half an hour of agony I forced myself to get up and get dressed so I could go to the privacy of my own home. Mike got my prescriptions and tucked me into bed.
- The next couple weeks were brutal, both of us suffered in silence. I felt cheated, after everything I've already had to endure in my life why must I go through this pain too?
- The doctor said we should wait until I had at least three normal periods before we started to try to get pregnant again. To be honest I wasn't sure what I wanted to do. It was a surprise the first time but I loved the idea. What if this happened again? No way could I go through that again. I was back and forth for a long time; yes let's do it, no, we should wait... It was terrifying.
- It is now January 2014, and I am ecstatic to report that we are 15 weeks pregnant! And we are finally getting excited about it. I say finally because both of us were weary for months to get hopeful about this pregnancy. They gave us our first ultrasound at 6 weeks. That morning I was stressed and freaking out, Mike was easily annoyed and short all morning. Our ultrasound girl was a DREAM! I loved her instantly, she greeted us with a big smile and she was so energetic and happy. It really helped me to relax. As soon as she got the probe (or what ever the heck you call that awkward stick) in place we knew instantly there was a real live baby in my belly. Then she shocked me, she turned on the heart monitor and I just about lost it. "It has a heartbeat already!?" Oh my god! how amazing that felt, Mike told me later that gave him one little tear in his eye lol. I'm sure he will never admit that again. I left that day with four pictures!
- This time around we only told a couple very close people before the 12 week mark. As excruciating as it was holding it (and my growing belly) in I felt so much more confident and comfortable announcing it to everyone after our second ultrasound at 12 weeks.
- Now I'm planning like crazy and researching and dying to shop. Our next doctors visit is Monday and I cannot wait to hear that heartbeat again.
- Speaking of my doctor, we switched to a doctor that my cousin recommended to us and I love them. The drive is hefty, especially in a NY snowstorm, it's at least a half hour one way but I am so much more comfortable there. Hopefully Monday they give me my next ultrasound appointment so we can finally know the gender. Yay! Until, next time!
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