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Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Breastfeeding Woes
Breastfeeding can be hard. Period. I knew going into it that it was going to be tough. I read everything on the internet I could get my hands on to get a good understanding of it. I went into it with no expectations, we would give it a fair shake and if it worked awesome, but if not I wasn't going to be all "I'm a terrible mom!"
I'll start with how frustrated I felt before the baby was even born by so many of the nurses, doctors, consultants, etc. that would ask if I planned to breastfeed or bottle feed. I'd answer with "we would like to breastfeed but we'll see how it goes." Babies are pretty unpredictable, I had no idea if he was going to take to the boob or not. I had no idea if my milk would come in or if it would be enough to feed him. I'm a pretty laid back person who tries to keep my expectations low in situations like this, it keeps my stress and anxiety down if it doesn't go exactly as planned. So anyway, when I would give them this answer they would go on this rant about how important breast milk can be to babies development and all these things I already knew about it. They made me feel like an idiot, like I couldn't possibly have had the intelligence level to have researched this and understood it already.
Fast forward to the night he was born, obviously we want to try to get him breastfeeding right away. I had a C-section, I had been in labor for 12 hours, I was pumped full of drugs. It is safe to say I was completely and utterly exhausted, but I was willing to try. The lactation consultant came in and tried to help us out and Ethan was not having it, he was not interested at all. We tried this way and that, with the nipple shield and without, he wasn't interested. I told the nurses thank you, we'll try again later. I didn't want to stress him out if he wasn't interested so I pumped and gave him that. I got the 3rd degree about how I shouldn't give him the bottle because that was easy for him and I should make him work at breastfeeding. Her exact works were "get him undressed, make him mad, get him awake." I'm sorry but this baby is not even a day old and you want me to purposely make him upset... No way. If he wants to chill and drink from the bottle, then that is what we are going to do.
I had to spend three days in the hospital with the nurses that kept pushing us to make him breastfeed, "it's so important to establish this early." Listen lady, we are going to do this at our own speed. We will practice and if he gets it then awesome, if not, I am not going to force him.
When we finally got home it was sooo much easier for me to relax when it was time to practice the boob. Don't get me wrong, it was still difficult as hell and got really frustrating at times. I knew he was hungry but he just did not want a boob. He'd latch for a minute or two and then throw his head back and freak out. After a couple minutes of this I'd stop and give him a bottle of pumped breast milk. There were a few times that I had almost given up, it just seemed so stressful on the both of us, but I am so glad I didn't.
It took us a good three weeks to finally get the hang of it and establish a good latch and a comfortable position. I had a great milk supply and was able to pump extra to store for later. The problem was that I wasn't comfortable feeding in public. Little man was a super slow eater so breastfeeding him in public just wasn't an option for me. This lead to more bottles and me waiting until I got home to pump or breastfeed. My boobs took this as less demand for the juice and so my supply suffered.
After he was about a month old we started supplementing with Similac for supplementing. I didn't plan on breastfeeding forever since I had to return to work and I wanted to make sure we could get him adjusted to formula before then. He took to the formula just fine and was getting about a 50/50 split throughout the day. Again my supply suffered.
So I have been trying to be more attentive to pumping on a schedule and trying to breastfeed him whenever possibly instead of giving a bottle to get my supply back up. Later this week I'm going to try to make some lactation cookies and see if that helps, I'll let you know how it goes.
I will say that I am glad we chose to do it the way we did, while it was stressful at times when he wouldn't latch and I KNEW he was hungry, I didn't feel like I HAD to breastfeed him and I was failing by giving him a bottle. Now when he does latch and eat I love looking in his little eyes and feeling like I am letting him know that I am there for him. I have read about how some mom's just gush over how incredible they feel while breastfeeding, I didn't think I would feel like that. But when I look down at him I feel tremendous love for this little man and my heart just wants to explode from him. It was so worth it to try and try at our own pace.
I'll start with how frustrated I felt before the baby was even born by so many of the nurses, doctors, consultants, etc. that would ask if I planned to breastfeed or bottle feed. I'd answer with "we would like to breastfeed but we'll see how it goes." Babies are pretty unpredictable, I had no idea if he was going to take to the boob or not. I had no idea if my milk would come in or if it would be enough to feed him. I'm a pretty laid back person who tries to keep my expectations low in situations like this, it keeps my stress and anxiety down if it doesn't go exactly as planned. So anyway, when I would give them this answer they would go on this rant about how important breast milk can be to babies development and all these things I already knew about it. They made me feel like an idiot, like I couldn't possibly have had the intelligence level to have researched this and understood it already.
Fast forward to the night he was born, obviously we want to try to get him breastfeeding right away. I had a C-section, I had been in labor for 12 hours, I was pumped full of drugs. It is safe to say I was completely and utterly exhausted, but I was willing to try. The lactation consultant came in and tried to help us out and Ethan was not having it, he was not interested at all. We tried this way and that, with the nipple shield and without, he wasn't interested. I told the nurses thank you, we'll try again later. I didn't want to stress him out if he wasn't interested so I pumped and gave him that. I got the 3rd degree about how I shouldn't give him the bottle because that was easy for him and I should make him work at breastfeeding. Her exact works were "get him undressed, make him mad, get him awake." I'm sorry but this baby is not even a day old and you want me to purposely make him upset... No way. If he wants to chill and drink from the bottle, then that is what we are going to do.
I had to spend three days in the hospital with the nurses that kept pushing us to make him breastfeed, "it's so important to establish this early." Listen lady, we are going to do this at our own speed. We will practice and if he gets it then awesome, if not, I am not going to force him.
When we finally got home it was sooo much easier for me to relax when it was time to practice the boob. Don't get me wrong, it was still difficult as hell and got really frustrating at times. I knew he was hungry but he just did not want a boob. He'd latch for a minute or two and then throw his head back and freak out. After a couple minutes of this I'd stop and give him a bottle of pumped breast milk. There were a few times that I had almost given up, it just seemed so stressful on the both of us, but I am so glad I didn't.
It took us a good three weeks to finally get the hang of it and establish a good latch and a comfortable position. I had a great milk supply and was able to pump extra to store for later. The problem was that I wasn't comfortable feeding in public. Little man was a super slow eater so breastfeeding him in public just wasn't an option for me. This lead to more bottles and me waiting until I got home to pump or breastfeed. My boobs took this as less demand for the juice and so my supply suffered.
After he was about a month old we started supplementing with Similac for supplementing. I didn't plan on breastfeeding forever since I had to return to work and I wanted to make sure we could get him adjusted to formula before then. He took to the formula just fine and was getting about a 50/50 split throughout the day. Again my supply suffered.
So I have been trying to be more attentive to pumping on a schedule and trying to breastfeed him whenever possibly instead of giving a bottle to get my supply back up. Later this week I'm going to try to make some lactation cookies and see if that helps, I'll let you know how it goes.
I will say that I am glad we chose to do it the way we did, while it was stressful at times when he wouldn't latch and I KNEW he was hungry, I didn't feel like I HAD to breastfeed him and I was failing by giving him a bottle. Now when he does latch and eat I love looking in his little eyes and feeling like I am letting him know that I am there for him. I have read about how some mom's just gush over how incredible they feel while breastfeeding, I didn't think I would feel like that. But when I look down at him I feel tremendous love for this little man and my heart just wants to explode from him. It was so worth it to try and try at our own pace.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
In case you need a smile today...
Friday, September 19, 2014
The Dreaded Return
A few things have came and went since we last spoke.
First, I got married. Yep, we took the plunge, I married my baby daddy on September 7, 2014. It was a freeking gorgeous day out and we had a great time. Now, I have a husband and a new last name, woah!
Second, I had to go back to work. After 12 weeks of maternity leave I had to finally leave my baby boy. I definitely did not want to go back to work or leave him but it wasn't something I was nervous about. I knew he would be fine and I knew I would be fine without him for 8 hours.
What I don't like about the whole thing is having to get out of bed, get two kids ready and myself, feed and potty the dogs, make lunch for work and somehow get out the door at a reasonable time. Stressful! But we're getting the hang out if and getting into a morning groove. My household chores have definitely started to take a back seat in the evening though. I get home and all I want to do is snuggle my little man, so I do.
After being able to stay home for 12 weeks I finally have the kick in the pants I need to get moving on my future goals. One is to start my family child care business. I've always wanted to be able to provide childcare in my home. I don't like the idea of day care centers because most of them feel like school to me; stuffy, over-structured, and strict. I love the idea of children feeling like they are in the comforts of their own home when they go to day care. Of course we are still going to learn new things and develop skills but I want the kids and families to feel relaxed when they come for child care. So I have my application packet for licensure, I just need to get CPR/First Aide certified and fill it out and mail it in to begin the process. The speed bump in the way is the CPR certification, it costs $110 and I have to wait until I get a few paychecks before I can sign up for it.
I also am working harder on developing my photography to the point where I feel comfortable actually selling it to people. I am super excited about it and have big plans for tying it into my childcare business!
I cannot wait to finally use the degree I paid way too much money to get and finally be my own boss.
In the meantime I get lots of snapchat photos of my little man throughout the day and a big grin when I come home to him at night.
He's getting so big, he's 2 1/2 months old and already wants to stand up! His little legs are so strong. He coo's and squeals and has big, toothless smiles that turn you to mush. He's already getting too big for his 0-3 month clothes, he's such a tall boy. Before I know it I'm going to be chasing him all over the house.
Finally, here's some adorbs for you...
First, I got married. Yep, we took the plunge, I married my baby daddy on September 7, 2014. It was a freeking gorgeous day out and we had a great time. Now, I have a husband and a new last name, woah!
Second, I had to go back to work. After 12 weeks of maternity leave I had to finally leave my baby boy. I definitely did not want to go back to work or leave him but it wasn't something I was nervous about. I knew he would be fine and I knew I would be fine without him for 8 hours.
What I don't like about the whole thing is having to get out of bed, get two kids ready and myself, feed and potty the dogs, make lunch for work and somehow get out the door at a reasonable time. Stressful! But we're getting the hang out if and getting into a morning groove. My household chores have definitely started to take a back seat in the evening though. I get home and all I want to do is snuggle my little man, so I do.
After being able to stay home for 12 weeks I finally have the kick in the pants I need to get moving on my future goals. One is to start my family child care business. I've always wanted to be able to provide childcare in my home. I don't like the idea of day care centers because most of them feel like school to me; stuffy, over-structured, and strict. I love the idea of children feeling like they are in the comforts of their own home when they go to day care. Of course we are still going to learn new things and develop skills but I want the kids and families to feel relaxed when they come for child care. So I have my application packet for licensure, I just need to get CPR/First Aide certified and fill it out and mail it in to begin the process. The speed bump in the way is the CPR certification, it costs $110 and I have to wait until I get a few paychecks before I can sign up for it.
I also am working harder on developing my photography to the point where I feel comfortable actually selling it to people. I am super excited about it and have big plans for tying it into my childcare business!
I cannot wait to finally use the degree I paid way too much money to get and finally be my own boss.
In the meantime I get lots of snapchat photos of my little man throughout the day and a big grin when I come home to him at night.
He's getting so big, he's 2 1/2 months old and already wants to stand up! His little legs are so strong. He coo's and squeals and has big, toothless smiles that turn you to mush. He's already getting too big for his 0-3 month clothes, he's such a tall boy. Before I know it I'm going to be chasing him all over the house.
Finally, here's some adorbs for you...
Wednesday, September 10, 2014
First Maternity Sesh
I had the privilege today to do my very first real, live, on purpose photo shoot! To make it even better it was with my best friend who also stood as Matron of Honor for me this weekend.
I feel confident with the photos I got but I know I have lots of room for improvement. I think it really helped me by starting out with my best friend, much less pressure! I definitely had a lot of fun.
I feel confident with the photos I got but I know I have lots of room for improvement. I think it really helped me by starting out with my best friend, much less pressure! I definitely had a lot of fun.
What a beautiful mama! I cannot wait to meet baby Beckett!
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Dirty Baby Feet
Ethan and I took our first trip to the park yesterday. Mike's daughter was complaining of boredom and I knew she needed to have something fun done for her so she didn't feel neglected with the baby being around now.
Side note- she has been in North Carolina with her mother since after Ethan was born so she hasn't gotten much time with him.
Her jealousy has become more apparent each day since she's been back so I wanted to do something fun with her so she knew these fun things can still happen even with a new baby.
So I grabbed our favorite fleece quilt that a friend of mine made for him and off we went.
My cousin met us there with her three kids. Her Daughter is a little over a year older than Ethan. We sat with the babies an chatted while the older kids played.
I was able to get some fun pictures of her adorable daughter while Ethan snoozed.
One of my fears is having a shy child who is afraid of new places and situations. I just love exposing kids to new situations and helping them to push passed their fears in a healthy and safe way.
Do me a favor moms and dads, push your children beyond their comfort zones as often as you can! They will thank you for it when they grow up as strong and confident adults. Encourage them to stop and smell the flowers, then play in the dirt when they're done!
Side note- she has been in North Carolina with her mother since after Ethan was born so she hasn't gotten much time with him.
Her jealousy has become more apparent each day since she's been back so I wanted to do something fun with her so she knew these fun things can still happen even with a new baby.
So I grabbed our favorite fleece quilt that a friend of mine made for him and off we went.
My cousin met us there with her three kids. Her Daughter is a little over a year older than Ethan. We sat with the babies an chatted while the older kids played.
I was able to get some fun pictures of her adorable daughter while Ethan snoozed.
I had to work fast for this shot. I was still making camera adjustments when she did this, I was just barely able to get the camera up and focused to capture this adorable sniff.
This girl has got some BEAUTIFUL blue eyes! Isn't she a doll?
I love taking photos of kids while they're in their own element, doing their own thing. Plus, I'm rotten at staging photos.
While I was telling Mike about our park trip I had got to thinking about how much we have had Ethan outside since he's been born. Mike and I both spent so much of our childhood outdoors, we want to instill that same sense of adventure and passion for the outdoors in our kids. Mike's daughter didn't get a lot of exposure to that since he was deployed or working as the sole income for their family and going to college. It drives me nuts when we go to my parents house or anywhere with a lot of open land to explore and she just stands there.
I couldn't help but think about the people whose babies are kept in virtual bubbles; babies who don't touch grass until they're two (okay so maybe that's a little exaggerated.) I got Ethan right out and put his little feet right in the grass and let him touch it. I'll be damned if this kid ever gets stuffed inside a bubble, no way man. I was dying to put him in the pool this summer just to get him exposed to it early on but I know his skin was still way too sensitive for the chemicals.
I try to take Ethan everywhere and get him exposed to lots of things while I can before I have to go back to work. We take him on bumpy walks on trails, we took him to the state fair last week (which he hated, he was so fussy all day), I take him to see my mom at work (she works in a Legion, the guys there can get super loud and he handles it so well. Everyone is always impressed), when I take him to Wal-mart I leave the cover off his car-seat and everything!One of my fears is having a shy child who is afraid of new places and situations. I just love exposing kids to new situations and helping them to push passed their fears in a healthy and safe way.
Do me a favor moms and dads, push your children beyond their comfort zones as often as you can! They will thank you for it when they grow up as strong and confident adults. Encourage them to stop and smell the flowers, then play in the dirt when they're done!
Sunday, August 24, 2014
Mommy's day off
So as most of you might remember, Mike and I are getting married soon, like 13 days soon. Yay! So yesterday my girlfriends took me out for my bachelorette party at the wineries on Seneca lake. I did this running on four hours of low-quality sleep, we all had a rough night with a very cranky baby.We bumped around in my friends RV to 4 different wineries, though technically one of the wineries has three separate wineries within it.
It was my first time away from baby boy. I'm telling you guys it was really hard leaving Ethan that morning, I had to try so so hard to not cry. He was in great hands though with my mom, she was really excited to soend the day with him.
I had a great time hanging out with the girls for the day, had some great wine, made fun of other bridal parties that were there (ladies, when you go out, make sure to not be woo girls. What's a woo girl you ask? Go watch the movie What's Your Number, the scene in the bar when the girls are taking shots... WOOOOOOO! ugh cringe.) My first day away went pretty good but I was so excited to get my hands back on my baby that night.
We were snuggling later that night and I asked him if he a good time at grandma's that day and he flashed me the cutest smile, melt.
Last night we all went to bed nice and early and little man slept so good, I woke up today feeling better than I have in a long while!
Tomorrow we are going to make the drive out to the NY State Fair! I am super excited, I love the fair. Mike's daughter is coming back from her summer in North Carolina tomorrow too, I'm not sure I'm ready for that new schedule to begin. Just thinking about two kids now, and school, and babysitters and work... I'm already stressed out.
But before I get myself all worked up about that I'm just going to send myself to bed. We've got a long day of fair fun tomorrow and it's going to be a hot one.
Good night all!
It was my first time away from baby boy. I'm telling you guys it was really hard leaving Ethan that morning, I had to try so so hard to not cry. He was in great hands though with my mom, she was really excited to soend the day with him.
I had a great time hanging out with the girls for the day, had some great wine, made fun of other bridal parties that were there (ladies, when you go out, make sure to not be woo girls. What's a woo girl you ask? Go watch the movie What's Your Number, the scene in the bar when the girls are taking shots... WOOOOOOO! ugh cringe.) My first day away went pretty good but I was so excited to get my hands back on my baby that night.
We were snuggling later that night and I asked him if he a good time at grandma's that day and he flashed me the cutest smile, melt.
Last night we all went to bed nice and early and little man slept so good, I woke up today feeling better than I have in a long while!
Tomorrow we are going to make the drive out to the NY State Fair! I am super excited, I love the fair. Mike's daughter is coming back from her summer in North Carolina tomorrow too, I'm not sure I'm ready for that new schedule to begin. Just thinking about two kids now, and school, and babysitters and work... I'm already stressed out.
But before I get myself all worked up about that I'm just going to send myself to bed. We've got a long day of fair fun tomorrow and it's going to be a hot one.
Good night all!
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